What Words Cannot Say
by Lilliana
Summary: There has always been tension between Grace and Eli...but can there ever be more?
1. Dear Diary

My heart lurches when you look at me, only for me to see in your eyes that you do not love me back. I have never told you, but even if I did, you still would not want me, at least not the way that I want you. It's true we're friends and I know that you will use that in your defense as to why we can't be together, but I promise we will always be friends and this is why I will never tell you that I hold in my heart a place that will always love you. 


	2. Running Into Eachother

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story…blah diddy blah blah.  
  
A/N: I hope you guys like the story, it is my first O&A fanfic. Please review, please be honest, and please help me think of a name for my story. Thank you all for reading!!! Lilliana  
  
  
  
Sighing, Grace closed her diary. She rolled over onto her side and gently tucked the diary under her pillow. What was she going to do about these feelings? Grace toyed with a strand of hair while she gazed at the ceiling, finally tucking the strand behind her left ear. She sat up on the bed, letting her feet swing over the edge, before she arose to sit at her vanity. She peered into the mirror taking in her appearance. 'I'm so dull,' she thought. Her eyes drifted over her brown hair, and cream- colored skin, finally resting on the reflection of her brown eyes. Her mind slowly wandered over to thoughts of Jessie. 'Why couldn't I be like her…look like her?' Grace thought about Jessie's silky blonde hair, crystal-clear blue eyes, and her smile that made a room light up. 'If only…' she began, but her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.  
  
"Come in," Grace hollered rising from her seated position, she made her way over to the bed. She looked up when she saw a body enter the room.  
  
"Um, hey Grace…" Eli ran a hand through his tousled brown hair as the other one was occupying his pocket.  
  
"Hey Eli," Grace remarked as she laced up her running shoes. "Is there something you need, or…" Grace let her words trail off as an implication that Eli should says something.  
  
"Yeah, um," he glanced down, "are you going running, because this can wait…"  
  
"Eli, what is it, you're starting to scare me acting all nervous and what not," Grace stood, running her hands over her thighs brushing off invisible dirt, Eli noticed this.  
  
"I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out, you know we haven't seen each other a lot lately with all that has happened," Knowing that he was referring to his mother's accident, she agreed that they should hang out later, after her run, unless he wanted to join her.  
  
Eli laughed, "I don't think that I am in the best shape to be running…if you know what I mean." And Grace did, with his increased use in the recreational drug of choice; she would bet that his lungs weren't at full capacity it took for running. With that, Eli turned to leave as Grace followed him, closing her door behind them.  
  
Eli walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl for cereal. As he was taking out the Fruit Loops, he noticed Grace lingering in the hallway doing her stretches. He silently watched her lunge forward. He noticed a loose strand of hair that had escaped from her ponytail. So badly he wanted to tuck that strand of hair behind her ear, he would give anything just to touch her face. To feel her soft silky skin against his calloused hands.  
  
"Eli," a voice from behind him startled him, he dropped the bowl watching it shatter.  
  
"Shit," He said as he bent down to clean up the mess.  
  
Jessie bent down to help him clean up, but he shoed her away afraid that she might cut herself. She patiently waited until he was finished before she spoke again.  
  
"Eli, I'm sorry," She cast a glance down at the floor as she spoke.  
  
Leaning on the counter, Eli shook his head and told her not to worry about it. Jessie needed a ride to the mall, and Katie's mom could pick-up if he would take them. Not having anything else to do with his time, he agreed, but not before looking up to see if Grace was still in the foyer, she was gone. He shook his head, he didn't know what was going on, but lately thoughts of Grace captivated most of his time.  
  
Grace ran with everything she had. Running was her escape. Her way to rid her mind of the thoughts of him, school, family, her need to be perfect, and everyone's need for her to be perfect. When she was running, it was just her against the world, and occasionally the road whenever she lost her footing on pebbles. She took comfort in the constant thudding of her feet against the pavement. It never took her long to fall into the melodic rhythm she loved so much. The road never cared how she looked, it never asked her to explain herself; it didn't care if she wasn't perfect. A slight breeze nipped at Grace's nose as she turned to make her way home. When she was three quarters of the way home, she slowed down to a jog and eventually a walk to easy her body away from her erratic breathing. Turning onto the pathway leading up to the house, she heard someone honk a horn. She glanced to her right and saw her mother pulling in the driveway.  
  
"Grace honey, can you help me with these groceries," Lilly asked while opening the backdoor to her automobile. Grace obliged and walked over taking the paper bags from her mother. As they entered to house, they walked to the kitchen to quickly unpack the groceries.  
  
"How was your run?" Lilly asked while putting some fruit in the refrigerator.  
  
" Fine," Grace stated simply as water ran over her hands in the sink.  
  
"You are really getting into that aren't you? I never liked running myself, it was always so hard on my knees, not to mention that I was never motivated like you, but…" Lilly was interrupted by Grace.  
  
"Mom, I am going to go take a shower, I feel all sweaty and gross." She said before turning to sprint up the stairs.  
  
The water was warm as she stepped in. She stood still, letting the water roam over her body, taking away the sweat she had built up that morning. She washed her hair, her body, and quickly shaved before reluctantly stepping out of the warm shower. Wrapping herself in a towel, she noticed that steam had filled the mirror. With another towel, she wiped a spot clear and quickly brushed her teeth and hair before heading across the hall to her room.  
  
Downstairs, Eli walked through the front door tossing a 'Hello' in Lilly's direction before darting up the stairs towards Grace's room. Gently he knocked on the door, while he was at the mall, he saw a couple of good movies were playing and he was anxious to see if Grace wanted to go.  
  
"Yeah," she said from inside the room. Eli turned the doorknob and it slowly opened. His eyes traveled up Grace's body. He took in her smooth, shapely legs, her silky pink panties, her well-toned stomach, and her sheer pink bra.  
  
"God Eli," she grabbed the comforter from her bed and quickly wrapped around her to conceal herself. "I said 'Yeah' as in who is it, not come in! Get out Eli…Eli get OUT!" slowly her eyes began to tear and her face reddened.  
  
It took Eli a moment to register what was going on, he figured it out as soon as she had started yelling. Quickly he backed out the door shutting it behind him. He slid down to the floor on the other side as Grace threw herself on her bed screaming her frustrations into her pillow.  
  
Lilly called up the stairs to see what was wrong, but Eli told her it was nothing, there was just a misunderstanding and that everything was fine. Grace heard Eli; 'He is still out there,' thought. Moments later she heard his footsteps descend the steps. It was then she stood back up and finished dressing. 


	3. Blushing Crimson

In his garage apartment, Eli was strumming on his guitar. The notes that traveled through his mind diminished as flashes of a scantily clad Grace overtook his thoughts. He was still sitting there with silent hands placed upon the guitar strings, green eyes staring at the crack in the wall thinking when he heard a light tapping on the doorframe. His eyes jolted to where she stood, so innocent were her eyes as she asked permission to enter. He nodded his head, unable to break the awkward silence. 

Grace fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, rubbing the pale pink material between her thumb and index finger. With her eyes cast downward, she suddenly spoke, "Eli, about earlier." 

Eli drew in a sharp breath before he laid his guitar to rest on his bed. "Grace, I'm sorry. I misunderstood." he looked Grace in the eyes, "I didn't really see anything." 

At this, her face flushed crimson as she tucked a stray hair behind her ear. Quietly she chuckled. "What, what did I say?" A bewildered look overtook Eli's face. 

Grace's dancing eyes met his serious ones. "Not about that, not about that at all! I just want to forget about that!" 

Her hand flew as she spoke and Eli looked away as he told her that he did as well, well he wishes he could forget anyway. But her creamy skin flashed through his mind. 

"Then what did you need?" asked Eli patiently. 

"I was just wondering what you needed earlier, you know, your intentions before the door opening scene." She spoke her eyes in direct contact with his forehead, as she could not look at him in the face without blushing again. 

So Eli told her about the movies, to which she declined, and left the room. Leaving Eli alone with his thoughts once again.

*LN* Sorry it was so short guys, I know I haven't written in a while, but summer is a hectic time for me. Once school starts up again, you can expect regular updates, e-mail me and let me know what you want to happen next. As always please read and review!!! Luvs and Buttons, Lilliana


	4. Tears on my Comforter

Grace pulled out her diary as her mind reminisced the day's previous events. Tucking a pillow under her, she lay upon the bed and began writing.

  
_Ugh! He walked in on me...he walked in on me! Oh my god, he saw me in my underwear, how embarrassed am I?!? And then I thought maybe if I talked to him my awkwardness would have dissipated, but then being the smart person he is...he brought it up again. But it was sweet, he did apologize...and those eyes GOD! Those eyes, I could get lost in them forever. And his lips...why do I have to love him?!? UGH!_

  
Frustrated, Grace slammed her diary shut and placed it back under her pillow. Silently she lay there, on her bed, before she reluctantly started her homework. It seemed that only five minutes had passed when she spotted a figure standing at her doorway from the corner of her eye. Ever so slightly, she turned her head in acknowledgement of the 'intruder.' 

  
"Sorry Grace, if you're busy..." her eyes swept over Grace before the petite blonde turned to leave.

  
Sitting up Grace began to speak, "No Jessie, its all right. What can I do for you?"

  
At the presence of Grace's voice, Jessie had turned around. Hesitantly, she walked into Grace's room and sat at her vanity. She carefully placed her hands in her lap and began fidgeting with her hands. 

  
Grace took notice of her tentativeness. "Jessie, what's wrong?"

  
Jessie looked up, tears brimmed her cerulean eyes. "Katie and I had a fight. I'm sorry Grace, but you are the only one I can talk to. No one else knows, and it is tearing me up."   
Jessie's confession prompted Grace to scoot over and pat the length of the bed beside her. Jessie was quick to fill the space with the extent of her body. 

  
"Jess, I don't know what advice I can give you. I think we both know the extent of knowledge and practice I have concerning relationships right?" Grace gently nudged her stepsister who then cautiously smiled at Grace's comment. "The only thing that I can tell you, which I am sure that you have heard at least a thousand times before is to just give it time."

  
Jessie rolled her eyes, "How can I give it time Grace? It's not that I just want her, Grace...it's that I need her. Physically, emotionally, mentally, I need her, she is my everything Grace." An escaped tear traveled down her cheek and dropped from her chin on to the bedspread. 

  
Grace turned on her side and looked at Jessie, as she continued to speak. "Look, I know what you're going through." At this, Jessie's head shot up looking questioningly at Grace. "Difficult as it may seem, I need someone too. There is this guy, whom I like and if I don't see him everyday, I am just not as happy. It doesn't have to be for a long time, just a quick glance and my day seems better for it. It's like he's my aphrodisiac, he is my chocolate," she says as Jessie softly chuckles. "He is what makes everything better when I have had the worst day." Grace's eyes glaze over with tears as she realizes the extent of what she has just said. 

  
It is Jessie's turn to comfort Grace as she places her hand over her stepsister's. "Grace why don't you just tell Eli how you feel?" she asked looking at Grace with concerned eyes.

  
Grace yanks her hand away and her head bolts up took look Jessie in the eyes. "What are you talking about, Eli? Whoever said anything about Eli? I don't like him, are you insane? He is my brother for goodness sakes! That would be...that would be..." 

  
As she searched for a word, Jessie took the chance to begin speaking. "Grace that would be love. Love comes in many forms and in many ways. You can't help whom you love, even if he is you stepbrother." 

  
Grace looked at Jessie, they both were crying now. "Even if it is a girl. Even if it is your best friend." 

  
Jessie looked at Grace as the words fell from Graces mouth. "I guess so," she said, "I guess so."

  
A knock on the doorframe brought them both back to the present. "Hey guys, dinner's ready," Eli began as he took into the current state of his sister and Grace. "Are you two...you know, okay?" His brow line creased as he asked.

  
Grace and Jessie looked at each other and laughed. "Yeah I think we are," Grace stated. As they both made their way out the bedroom door silently holding the revealed secrets between them.

  
"And E, we're girls if you haven't noticed, not guys." Jessie stated while patting him on the shoulder.

  
Looking after Grace as she walked passed him, he muttered quietly, "Yeah, I've noticed...believe me, I have noticed."

  
But Grace heard.

*LN* Hey guys…I hope you like this chapter! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing! I hope you continue to do so because it makes my day! Lilliana


	5. Melodic Poems

**_Disclaimer_**_: I do not own any of the characters.  The song written is in fact called Soar, but it was written and composed by Christina Aguilera, Rob Hoffman, and Heather Holley…I did edit the song to make it seem more like a poem…Lilliana_

Fumbling with his keys, they slipped from his grasp.  He kneeled to pick them up and slipped the key into the doorknob, only entering after there was a satisfying click noting that the door was unlocked.  Sighing as he entered the room, he flopped his guitar on his bed while tossing his keys onto his dresser.  He sauntered to the bathroom turning on the shower.  He stared at himself in the mirror as if doing so would provide answers to all of his problems.  He watched his features dissipate as the steam from the shower encompassed the bathroom.  He turned from his distorted reflections and began peeling clothing off before he stepped into the only warmth he has known lately.  He let the warmth envelop his body, closing his eyes as water made rivulets down his face and over his exterior.  He thought of Grace in the same position as he.  Before he had seen her panties, her hair was wet; she had been in the shower.  In his mind he let his eyes roam over her body, tracing her curves of cream up to her angelic face.  His eyes sprung open at his thoughts.  He quickly turned the water from warm to cold in order to try and relieve some of the **tension** created by his thoughts.  Eli stepped out of the shower and made his way to his room clad only in a towel.  Slipping on boxers and jeans, he sat down on the edge of his bed and began strumming his guitar.  The same melody had been in his head for a week now, but there weren't any words that seemed to fit.  He decided to give up and go to sleep.

Grace sat at her vanity brushing her hair while thinking back to the awkwardness that had been dinner.  Rick, Lily, and Zoë alone covered the conversation.  Glances were made between Grace and Jessie as well as the latter and Eli, but never once were glances exchanged between Eli and Grace.  She had wanted to steal a peek at Eli, even if only for a second.  But she told herself to wait to take in his gorgeous hazel eyes and his brow which furrowed in confusion, and his lush lips that could consume hers…She had excused herself from the table citing that she was tired and had eaten prior to dinner.  She had to get away from Eli; it was more than she could bear.  Jessie had followed her five minutes later asking if she was okay.  Grace said she was and Jessie reminded her that if she ever needed to talk…Grace smiled silently as Jessie left the room with a matching expression.  Sighing Grace put her brush down and turned to let the bed envelop her. 

Grace crept downstairs around one o'clock in the morning only to hear someone humming quietly in the kitchen.  She peered around the corner to see Eli eating a bowl of cereal.  

"Hey Eli," Grace said visibly startling him from his state.

"Hey Grace, what are you doing up?" he questioned while setting his bowl down on the counter.

"One could ask you the same thing mister." She chuckled as Eli pointed to his cereal and told her that he was hungry.  Grace in turn told him that she couldn't sleep so she decided to make some warm milk.  

"Does that stuff really work?" Eli asked his brow furrowing.

Grace smiled before answering, "I don't really think so, I just need something to do with my insomniac self."  She poured the milk into the pan turning the stove to medium she went in search of a wooden spoon.  "Eli," she asked, "what were you humming earlier?" 

"Oh," he replied rather shyly, "just a song I have been working on." He shoveled another spoonful of Cinnamon Toast Crunch into his awaiting mouth.

Grace had retaken her place at the stove, lazily swirling the milk after successfully locating her spoon.  "I'd like to hear it sometime," she heard herself say.  When the words registered, she blushed slightly.

"I'd let you, but I just have the melody, I can't seem to find the words." He looked defeated because the one thing he truly loved didn't come easy to him anymore.  He set his bowl in the sink and said his goodbyes before returning to his garage apartment. 

After he left, Grace found herself a bit sleepy, so she poured the milk down the drain of the sink and started up to bed.  As she drifted off to sleep, she found herself humming the tune Eli was having difficulty with.  

When she woke up in the morning, the tune still occupied her thoughts.  She thought back to last night and the way his bare chest shone in the softly lit kitchen.  After getting ready for school she ran down to the kitchen only to be informed by her mother that Eli was to take her and Jessie to school this morning.  

The ride to school went smoothly, no fighting or awkward silences ensued.  Grace hopped out of the front passenger seat, quickly saying her goodbyes to Eli and walking into school with Jessie.  

In the jeep, Eli noticed that Grace had left something behind.  A small envelope replaced her in the passenger seat.  He picked up the envelope and turned it over in his hands.  On the other side, it read: Eli.  Looking perplexed as to why Grace would leave a note instead of talking to him directly, he placed the envelop in his pocket.  He would read it when he got home.  

Pulling into the Sammler/Manning driveway, he shut off the engine to the jeep and made his way to his apartment.  Once inside, he tossed his jacket on a chair after retrieving the envelope from the pocket.  He leaned back from his seated position on his bed and cautiously opened the envelope.   His eyes scanned over the contents.  The note read:

Eli, I know this may be a little weird, but I couldn't get your tune out of my head last night.  I know you were having a problem with lyrics, and I was going through my collection of poems, and I thought this one might fit.  Of course I know that I am not anywhere near a songwriter, but maybe it would help…maybe I am just being bizarre, I don't know.  But here it is anyway.  Grace

Eli paused before flipping to the next page.  He couldn't believe Grace would do something like this for him.  He couldn't believe that an amateur could think of lyrics so quickly.  He felt a twinge of jealousy for that, but maybe they would be terrible.  He silently cursed himself for thinking that, he knew they would be amazing, and they were.  As he read, he was mesmerized by her work and astonished at how she was able to make sense of the words swirling in his head.  They words were what Eli had wanted to write all along.  Somehow she had entered his head and formed logical thoughts and expressions.  He was amazed and grateful.  The poem read:

Soar

          When they push when they pull, tell me can you hold on

          When they say you should change can you lift your head high

          and stay strong

          Will you give up; when your heart's crying out that it's wrong

          Will you love you for you at the end of it all

          In life, there's gonna be times when you're feeling low

          And in your mind insecurity seems to take control

          We start to look outside ourselves for acceptance and approval

          We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is

          Don't' be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own

          Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours

          Don't hold back and always know, all the answers will unfold

          What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar

          The boy who wonders is he good enough for them

          Keeps trying to please them all but he just never seems to fit in

          Then there's the girl who thinks she'll never ever be good enough

          for him

          Keeps trying to change and that's a game she'll never win

          In the mirror is where she comes face to face with her fears

          Her own reflection now foreign to her after all these years

          All of her life she has tried to be something besides herself

          Now time has passed and she's ended up someone else with

          regret

What is it in us that makes us feel the need to keep pretending

Gotta let ourselves be

Eli picked up his guitar and put the already melodic words to music.

**.:*:. LN ****.:*:. I hope you guys liked the chapter…sorry I haven't written in a while.  Let me know what you guys want to happen…I am running out of ideas.  Please read and review, that is the only way I know you guys want me to continue…plus it makes me smile J! Lilliana**


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